By Kelly| Happy You Happy Family

With four kids in our family, our daily responsibilities as parents take up most of our free time.

It starts from the minute we wake up, when my husband and I start planning out the day – Who’s picking up the oldest from school? What’s for dinner tonight? Do we have enough food for every kid to have a lunch that consists of more than a stale tortilla and three dried-out carrots?

While we figure all that out and more, my husband makes three bowls of oatmeal alongside his own, and I clean the toddler’s grubby high chair from dinner last night because I forgot and…is that an ant?!

We’re constantly in go-go-go mode just to get the bare minimum done, and that doesn’t leave much time for stopping to connect with our kids.

But That’s a Big Problem

A healthy connection with our kids is essential. Research shows that in order to have a healthy relationship, for every negative interaction, you need five positive interactions to balance it out.

For example, when I lose my cool over my toddler coloring on the walls, we need five positive interactions to balance that out, or our relationship will suffer.

But I don’t need the research to tell me that because I can see it for myself.

When my connection with my children starts to suffer, the result is more power struggles and less cooperation from them. And when the power struggles wear down my patience, I sometimes turn into an angry mom, which feeds the disconnection even more.

And then above all, my goal is to build a strong mother-daughter bond that will last a lifetime. As it turns out, a healthy mother-daughter relationship can be the strongest of all family relationships throughout your child’s life.

But it’s when my daughters are young that I must invest in a solid foundation for our relationship. If we don’t start out with a healthy connection now, it certainly won’t magically appear when they’re teenagers or adults.

Here’s the Solution…With a Catch

Nothing gets us back on track like some good quality bonding time, whether that’s reading our favorite picture books on the couch together or playing one of our quick family bonding games for an emergency dose of connection.

All it takes is a few minutes, and we walk away smiling and feeling that invisible string between our hearts again.

Recently, it dawned on me that I may not be the only busy mom looking for simple ways to connect with my daughters, so I decided to clean up the list and share it here with you.

If you’re looking for mother-daughter things to do that will help you feel closer to your girl, check this epic list for the best ideas.

Decide how much time you have for your one-on-one bonding, then find that section for oodles of ideas for fun things to do with your daughter.

20 Minutes or Less: Quick But Powerful!

These mother-daughter date ideas are perfect when you need a spontaneous dose of healthy connection with your daughter.

Free or Less than $10

  1. Have an impromptu dance party. Research shows that listening to music together creates healthy bonds and builds positive memories. Check out this girl power playlist or this happy family playlist.
  2. Ask each other interesting questions. Our favorites are from this set of adorable family conversation starters. We use these questions every night with our kids, and they’ve been a game-changer, helping us end every day feeling connected, loved, and happy.
  1. Read aloud. If she’s old enough, you can take turns reading out loud to each other from the same book. If reading aloud is already part of your daily routine and feels a bit too routine to be special, you can switch it up by changing genres. For example, you might read poetry or magazine articles to each other. When my oldest daughter and I want to connect one-on-one, we’ll take turns reading to each other from Harry Potter.
  2. Take turns taking photos of each other. Odds are that as the mom, you’re the one behind the camera most of the time so there aren’t many family photos of you. So your daughter may appreciate the honor of capturing some rare snapshots of you. You can dress up if you want or keep it simple. Feel free to be as silly as you want!
  3. Make art together. You can doodle, design thank-you cards, or try something fancy you found on Pinterest. Not only is creating art important for your child’s development, but it’s also been shown to impact health by reducing stress and anxiety, increasing positive emotions, and reducing the likelihood of depression.
  4. Take turns telling each other jokes. If you don’t know many jokes, these two joke books are our favorites, and they’re both super inexpensive: Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids and Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids. (If you like those, this author has a ton of joke books for even more ideas!)
  1. Look at pictures. Grab a family photo album and look at old photos together. Whether you look at her baby pictures or pictures from when you were a kid, kids love a trip down memory lane. For bonus points, throw in a few childhood stories.
  2. Dress each other. Let your daughter pick out your clothes for the day, then you do the same for her. Then head out to run errands or to your regular daily routine wearing what you picked out for each other.
  3. Write poems about each other. My oldest daughter had a project in fourth grade where parents were encouraged to write a poem about their kids. I was nervous to write a poem since that’s not in my wheelhouse, but when I read the finished poem out loud to my daughter, she beamed. Sit down and write poems together, then read them aloud to each other.
  4. Climb into bed. Pick any time of day and pile into your bed and cuddletogether for a few minutes. You may be surprised at what your daughter opens up about after a few minutes of shared quiet!
  5. Tell a story. Think back to a funny or cute story from when she was younger – or from when you were a child – and share it with your daughter. Even if she’s heard it before.
  6. Stop and play. Sit down and just play for a few minutes – no smartphones, no multitasking. Just follow her lead.
  7. Start a game of chase or hide-and-seek. For younger girls, she’ll love it if you pretend her hiding place is so good you can’t find her.
  8. Start rough-housing or a pillow fight. Research shows this kind of play builds emotional intelligence and brings joy for kids – yes, even girls!
  1. Make up a story together. You make up one sentence, then pass it to your child for the next sentence. For even more fun with this mother-daughter bonding activity, use one of the Create and Tell Me a Story card decks.
  2. Talk in the dark. When you put her to bed, turn out the lights and snuggle in bed with her. Ask questions and listen. Here’s one of our favorites: “When did you feel most loved today?”
  3. Ask for help. Ask her to help you with something like doing laundry or paying bills. Not only is this one of the best kinds of mother-daughter bonding activities, she may learn a new life skill, too.
  4. Welcome the day. Wake up early and watch the sunrise together.
  5. Have a hula hoop contest. Winner gets to pick their favorite meal for dinner, an extra piece of candy after dinner, or just bragging rights.
  6. Make homemade slime or play dough. Then play with it together.
  7. Color on the sidewalk. Use sidewalk chalk to create a masterpiece or invent a new game. If you need some inspiration, check out Chalk on the Wild Side, which has 25+ chalk art projects, recipes (glow-in-the-dark chalk!), and chalk game ideas for you.
  1. Learn a new language together. Try the Duolingo app, or get language lessons on Audible. (Use this special link to get two free audiobooks on Audible.)
  2. Meditate together. Our favorite app is Headspace because it has sections specifically for kids.
  3. Give each other massages. This works for a wide age range, and it’s easy to do anytime or any place.

An Hour or Two

When you have a little more time to spare, these fun mother-daughter activities will help you feel close and connected.

Free, or Less Than $10

  1. Go for a long walk or hike. Without the distractions of daily life at home, your daughter may open up and share her heart with you on the walk. Plus, outdoor time is good for your relationship, according to science. Research shows time spent in nature helps mothers and daughters get along better.
  2. Have a coffee date. Bring your favorite board game or card game to your neighborhood coffee shop, then treat yourselves to a fancy drink while you play – coffee for you, hot chocolate for her. Here’s a list of our all-time favorite family board games for all ages.
  3. Browse the bookstore. Take her to a bookstore and browse the shelves in the kids’ section together. Whether she’s at the picture book, chapter book, or young adult level, pick out a book or two and read out loud to her. (Kids are never too old to be read to!) If you need some ideas, here are our absolute favorite picture books of all time – and we read a lot. For a special treat, surprise her by buying her a new book she has her eye on.
  4. Have a movie night for two. At home, watch your favorite movie, her favorite movie, or a new movie you’re both interested in. Then afterwards, talk about your favorite parts.
  5. Get a mani-pedi. You can go DIY style at home and paint each other’s nails, or make it an extra special event by taking her to a nail salon so you can both relax while you’re pampered.
  6. Trade makeovers. Get your makeup bag out, and let your daughter do whatever she wants – then swap roles. You may look ridiculous after she’s done with your makeover, but she’ll love being “in charge.”
  7. Exercise together. Pop in a workout DVD (we like Jillian Michaels’s Yoga Meltdown) and have fun keeping your bodies healthy. Or if that’s not your style, go for a quick run or bike ride together.
  8. Host a book club meeting for two.Read the same book – together or apart – then have a meeting where you talk about what happened in the book, your favorite characters, what surprised you, and so on. Even better: Host your book club at the local coffee shop or bakery.
  9. Make a meal. This is extra fun if you try out a new recipe for the first time together. Or if you don’t want to make a meal, bake a treat together or make homemade ice cream.
  10. Put on a fashion show. Try on clothes from your closet that you haven’t worn in a while, and your daughter can do the same. If you’re close in size, you can even let her try on your clothes. As an added bonus, you may get new ideas for how to wear what you already have – or at least you’ll be able to clear out stuff that didn’t work out.
  11. Play a board game or a card game.For an extra treat, pick up a new game you haven’t played before. For ideas, check out Forget Candyland! This Is the Best List of Board Games for All Ages.
  12. Camp out in the living room. After the rest of the family goes to bed, set up your sleeping bags in the living room and stay up late talking, watching a movie, or playing a board game – or all of the above.
  13. Go on a photo scavenger hunt. You can find free printable photo scavenger hunts online like this simple printable and this one for tweens and teens.
  14. Paint rocks. Then leave them somewhere for a stranger to find so you can brighten their day.
  15. Go to the park, just the two of you. Join your daughter on the swings, and go ahead and try out the big slide too.
  1. Stargaze. Stay up late and lay in your yard, counting stars.
  2. Get literary. Go hear an author speak at a local bookstore. Bonus points if it’s one of your daughter’s favorites.
  3. Feed the ducks. Visit a nearby pond with ducks. (Just make sure to bring defrosted frozen peas or corn, never bread!)
  4. Go swimming. Visit the local swimming pool or splash pad, just the two of you.
  5. Try geocaching. Have fun exploring together.
  6. Try on shoes. Go to the best shoe store in your area and try on as many shoes as you want.
  7. Make something. Find a craft or DIY project on Pinterest and make it together. (My Playful Parentingboard has tons of fun ideas.)
  8. Go skating. Try roller skating, ice skating, or rollerblading.
  9. Visit the library. Then pick out books for each other.
  10. Play a sport together. Try something like tennis, or visit the batting cages or driving range.
  11. Scrapbook side-by-side.
  12. Train for a race like a 5K. Then run it together.
  13. Declutter together. Go through your closet and pick things to rehome, then switch and go through her closet.
  14. Round up all the spare change you can find. Then decide together on a charity to donate it to. Check the couch cushions, the bottom of purses, junk drawers, and cup holders in your car. (Whenever we do this, my girls always want to throw in some of their piggy bank money to donate even more!)
  15. Clean out the pantry together. Get rid of expired food, and bag up any other food you can to donate to a local food bank.
  16. Invent a new recipe together.
  17. Get inspired. Look through magazines and Pinterest to find ideas for redecorating her bedroom. Clip any photos you love and make a vision board. (For fresh ideas, try my Kids’ Room Ideas board.)
  18. Do each other’s hair. Find a fun hairstyle on Pinterest and practice it on each other. (Check out my How to Be a Girl board for ideas.)
  19. Fly a kite. Take turns flying a kite at a nearby park.
  20. Have a slumber party. Join your daughter in her room for one night, just the two of you.
  21. Play with paper dolls. Print a cute set of color-in paper dolls, then cut them out and color them together, then play dress-up. I downloaded a set of the most adorable paper dolls from this Etsy seller, and my girls had so much fun! Even my 10-year-old.

Half a Day or More

As busy parents, it can be hard to set aside a full day or even half a day. But if you can put it on the calendar once every two to three months, do it because these mother-daughter date ideas are so much fun.

Free, or Less Than $10

  1. Take a mental health day. Take one day off school and work and spend the day together. Just make sure she doesn’t have any big tests, quizzes, or projects due that day! Or if you can’t afford a full day, pick her up an hour or two early from school and go do something fun from this list.
  2. Volunteer. For younger kids, it can be difficult to find organized volunteer activities, but you can always put together care packages for the homeless in your area or make cards to brighten the day of nursing home residents.
  3. Bring your daughter to work with you.
  4. Camp out in your backyard one night. Don’t forget the s’mores fixin’s!
  5. Go on a random acts of kindness spree. Pick a day and commit as many random acts of kindness as you can think of.
  6. Spend time in nature. Drive to the nearest beach or nature center and soak up the outdoor time.
  7. Take her to college. If it’s within driving distance, take her to your alma mater and show her around campus. If it’s too far away, take her to the closest college campus and explore together. Ask questions about what she thinks college will be like, and share any fun stories you can remember from when you went.

More Than $20

  1. Take a day trip. Find a fun destination that’s within driving distance and head there together to explore. Research shows taking a trip with your child becomes a “happiness anchor” for her – in other words, vacations stick in kids’ brains as vivid memories, and later on as adults those memories can even help them get through tough times. (Don’t forget to crank up a girl power playlist and sing aloud at the top of your lungs!)
  2. Visit a fair or amusement park.Ride every ride together and eat all the junk food you can.
  3. Pretend to be tourists in your own town. Have fun exploring a tourist attraction or two.
  4. Have a one-night staycation. Book a night at a hotel in your downtown area. For a special treat, order room service for breakfast or for a late-night treat.