by Megan Hamilton
Just as soon as I feel like I’m starting to get this whole parenting thing figured out, life not so gently reminds me that I am CLUELESS. Parenting is just nuts, right!?! A complicated maze with profound questions and no clear cut answers that does not come with a redo. This is the one thing in life I can’t suck at it. Like most parents, my husband and I have long talks about the girls future, morals, values, what pearls of wisdom we want to impart. We have read the books. And now I’m starting to come to the conclusion that if I will for the most part just stay out of their way, these two tiny little precious humans in our lives will raise themselves because they are so much cooler than I ever could have dreamed.
Yesterday morning our third grader was getting ready for school. My husband and I knew we needed to sign a paper for her acknowledging that she had studied her times tables with us. We decided not to sign it unless she asked us–knowing that she might get in trouble at school. Diabolical I know! We really want her to learn to take responsibility for herself without relying on others. After all some of those tough life lessons are still the ones I am most thankful for that ring true today. On the way to school I drop a last chance “sweetie did you get everything you need for school today?” I got an enthusiastic “yah mom, thanks.” I had it all planned out. I knew my gentle little daughter who has never once been in trouble would be crushed to the core by a reprimand. I would then sweep in like Mother Theresa and console her. Next would begin a line of questioning that could lead her to resolve the problem. I would questions like: “what are you planning to do so you never forget again” and “how did it make you feel” I mean doesn’t this just sound like some sappy suggestion straight out of a parenting book? It all felt brilliant in a responsible sort of way.
Later that evening I asked her how school was that day. She immediately chirped, “AMAZING!!” Really….amazing, not quite what I was expecting. Then she said “well, I did get detention but I loved it and am hoping to get to go tomorrow.” Who wants to go to detention!?! Have we done to detention what we’ve done to our prison systems. Did she get to just work out and watch cable TV all afternoon? I was completely confused at this point. Then she explained in detail how while all the other kids were suffering on the windy playground in the dirt she got to study her times tables some more and then read more of this book she is crazy about. She later aced her multiplication test (due in part to extra studying time) and almost finished her book (double score for more AR points). Her future plans are to use the silence to do yoga and concentrate on a new art project. Although her crowning thought was that the school should change the name to reflect something more positive. My only reaction was to laugh at loud, bahahahahaha! Yes my kids are just fine although it seems I have many more life lessons to learn.
