Distractions by Dr. Bo Brock
A mixed animal veterinary clinic holds a large number of distractions for the casual observer. Most people are just passing through with a pet or some large animal that needs attention, so they don’t spend enough time there to get used to the smell…or the noises…..or the mannerisms of the doctor. It is hard to go from trying to save a dying calf from the uterus of a cow to a fluffy poodle that is sneezing in the time span of five minutes.
This is quite a challenge for the country veterinarian that has to please people from every walk of life. With such a daunting task, the last thing the vet needs is another distraction to occupy the clients mind while he or she is trying to explain what is the matter with an animal. One such distraction is a booger. I don’t care who you are, eventually one is going to creep out into the open and hypnotize the person you are talking to.
There is nothing worse than giving a long explanation to some individual about how to medicate their pet at home, only to discover a few minutes later that the entire conversation occurred with a nice booger dangling from a nose hair.
We have worked out a “booger” signal amongst the group that works at our clinic. It is a subtle change in facial expression followed by a mock scratching of which ever nostril the unknowing booger bearer is having a problem with.
The way our clinic is set up, you have to go through the waiting room to get suture material from one of the exam rooms. This day found me in a huge rush from the cattle chute to get a spool of suture for the cow I was about half through doing a C-section on. I was wearing palpation sleeves that were covered with blood and gook all the way up to my shoulders as I hurried through the waiting room to get the much needed sewing material.
As luck would have it there was a very short lady that met me at the door of the waiting room. She had a question and it was very apparent that she was going to ask it “right now”. She pulled me over, blood covered as I was, and started firing questions at me about her dog.
I was really in a hurry to get back to the gaped open cow and assumed that she could surmise that I was in the middle of a surgery but she was only interested in getting a few questions answered and paid no attention to the blood dripping down the sleeves and the front of my coveralls. My eyes caught Berenda, the office manager, off to one side. For a split second my attention left the rapid fire questions and focused on her. She was making the booger signal.
This lady was about five feet tall and I am about six feet tall. This meant that she had a clear and un-obstructed view up my nose. To make matters worse, she was so short that no amount of head bowing on my part was going to obscure her view. Not only that, but both of my hands and arms all the way up to my shoulders were wet and dripping with some sort of body fluid from a cow. This meant that I could not wipe the booger or even tuck my head into my shoulder.
Berenda seemed to find my predicament amusing. I could see her laughing out of the corner of my eye as I moved from one position to another trying to find a way to look at the woman while she talked but not let her see up my nose holes. Berenda was shaking her head each time I would assume another head position as if to tell me that the booger was still visible.
Finally the lady finished with her questions and left. Berenda was now laughing hysterically. “You don’t have a booger, my nose was just itching when you looked over and I was simply scratching it. You mistook the scratch for the booger signal and I didn’t know how to call it off. Maybe we need a signal to cancel out the accidental booger signal. ”
That is what she told me but down deep inside I have to wonder if she just didn’t really want to see me go through the eleven basic ballet movements to try and cover my nose without being able to touch it.
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